Journal 02 – Setbacks and Gratefulness

Week 2: May 7th – May 13th

I wanted to talk about setbacks in this weeks reflection. Man oh man, are they real. But with the setbacks are also hidden blessings. I got my oil change this week and found out that I have some car maintenance that need to be done. It sucks. That’s $700 that I wanted to put towards my bills. Now my budget plan is delayed. However, after completing the car maintenance I can pretty much say that I won’t have to worry about those car parts for a while. My safety won’t be in jeopardy. And really… my health and safety is my number one concern. If I have to drop $700 and delay my plan but in return knowing that the maintenance needed are to keep me safe then so be it.

Life is not perfect. We have good times. We have bad times. We don’t get to choose the timing of those things but we do get to choose how we react to it. I’m very humble when I have good things happening in my life. I have been that way since I was young. Maybe that’s because I’ve been through so many bad things. No… I don’t think I’ve been through hell and back but I have been through some pretty shitty things. We all have. We don’t get to control the good and bad things but we do have control over our perceptions.

We need to understand that good and bad times are like a roller coaster ride. They come and go. Live in the moment and relish the good things that happen. Be humble because all good things usually come to an end. Be strong and have faith when the bad times come rolling around. They only make us stronger. When it rains it pours but after every storm is a rainbow.

Things I accomplished:

  • Paid off credit card 2 on 5/9
  • Picked up two shifts to make up for my weekend spending last week on food – money will go towards savings
  • Being grateful for my life

This week, I paid off two of three credit cards! Since I spent more than I would like last week I picked up two shifts to make up for it. I also celebrated my step dads birthday and mothers day. I spent more money than I hoped but I’ll be okay. Experiencing some setbacks this week just helped me become more grateful for the life I have. It’s not perfect and it’s not where I want to be… But being able to wake up, see the sunshine, and having the opportunity to grow is such a blessing.

Things to work on:

  • Week 2 check in video – work on deadlines and timeliness
  • Saving my emergency fund – need $1000. This will go towards car maintenance in June
  • Budget – impulse buys have been real these past few weeks… watch your spending
  • Continue self love. Continue to be comfortable in front of the camera. Continue to record the process throughout the week
  • Timeline for blog posts/podcast – follow the deadlines like it is your job
  • Podcast… record and post on platforms even if it’s not perfect

Because this whole “recording my life” and “tracking my progress” is so new makes it difficult for me to really follow the deadlines I put in place for myself. One main reason is because I am uncomfortable being in front of cameras, making it hard for me to record anything I do. Two- I’m open to writing and sharing pieces of my life but sharing actual videos is very difficult for me. It almost seems like an invasion in my life. It feels like I’m not actually living in the moment if I take my camera out and start recording. I need to start being more comfortable in my own skin. I need to understand that it’s okay to record memories for a short amount of time. I really hope this gets easier.

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Just a dreamer trying to change her life within the next 3 years.

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