Journal 05: Give and you shall receive

“Today, why don’t you love a little deeper, laugh a little louder, hold the ones you love a little tighter.”

Week 5: May 28 – June 3

Last week was amazing. It was awakening. I had an amazing Wednesday. A day where I felt so centered and present. I felt connected with everything and everyone. Nothing could have made my day bad. That night I did some self reflection to see why I felt so centered when it was just an ordinary day. I think it was all about my mindset. I can make an ordinary day great or I can make it bad. It is ultimately up to me.

The connections I made brought up some emotions that I hadn’t realized I had put on hold and stored away. Now that I am ready… I am going to put more effort into thinking positively. More effort to put myself out into the world. More effort to defeat my fear of being seen and more effort to enjoy the moments.

Last Saturday, I experienced karma and fate at its finest moment. Fate had pushed me towards the right time and right place. At the right time and place karma had blessed me with a reward. After that moment I learned to be more grateful. I vowed to myself that I would make more effort to give and more effort to accept when rewarded.

Weekly highlights:

  • Cutting back on social media – I’ve been honing on Instagram a lot. Like… a lot. I had to cut back time because I’ve been comparing myself, my life, and my goals to others. It shouldn’t be about comparing. Each and everyone has their own unique journey and purpose. I accomplished leaving my phone behind when doing minor tasks such as going downstairs to grab something, doing laundry, or watching a movie. This helped cut back some time spent on social media but I would like to do more this week.
  • Mindfulness – I have my highs and lows with mindfulness. Some days are easier and some days are harder. Last week I had an awakening Wednesday feeling present and centered. I haven’t had one of those days in a while and it felt good. It felt so good to be content.
  • Gratefulness – On a rainy day around 11am on Saturday, June 2nd I went out for lunch with my sister to French Meadow. After eating our lunch we asked for the tab and learned that a man had paid for our food! I’ll be writing a reflection on this day but the overall takeaway from this day… give when you can and be grateful when you receive.

Things to work on:

  • Budget… Yeah again… I keep finding budget in the “things to work on” and something needs to change. I need to be more strict in my spending. I am hoping to do a semi-annual review and will evaluate and discuss my spending habits and implement new ways to go about this (because clearly the last few months have not been going well).
  • Capture more moments – pictures and videos
  • Enjoy the moments, the little steps.

Enjoy life. Put yourself out there. Give it your all. Keep doing the things that feed your soul even if you get no return. As long as it makes you feel content and full; keep doing it.

P.S. I’m proud of you. Keep loving yourself.

Music Inspiration for the week: James Bay – Wild Love 

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Just a dreamer trying to change her life within the next 3 years.

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