Journal 06: Six Month Check-In

2018 is officially halfway over.

I feel like yesterday was just New Years day. In a blink of an eye we are halfway done. Time really does fly by. Since graduating college last year and working full time I feel like time goes by so much faster. If you asked my 18 year old self where I would be at the age of 23 my answer would definitely not be here. 

My 18 year old self would have thought that by the time I graduated college I would be in my dream job or going back to grad school for my dream job. I would have been married by now. I would have been free of debt and ready to start a family… Thank goodness none of that happened. I’ve been growing so much and a lot of that growth happened within the last year. I’ll be reviewing the first six months of 2018 and examining my progress in reaching my goals.

Some of my goals for 2018 were:

  • Be more present- dwell less in the past and worry less about the future
  • Let loose more often- you can’t be perfect 24/7
  • Minimize debt- save more to fund your dream
  • Live simple- you don’t need a lot to get by in life
  • Learn how to play the piano- invest your time in your creative abilities
  • Move out- get your own place
  • Keep evolving- challenge your weaknesses and utilize your strengths
  • Enjoy your youth- you won’t be 23 forever

Wow… I didn’t realize how many goals I have for myself. As I read over my notes a sense of contentment and acceptance rushes over me. I’ve accomplished a lot of my goals. More than I thought. It feels great to accept who I am and what I’ve gone through. My heart is so full.

Be more present: I made a lot of commitments to myself to implement these changes and to meet my goals. I can definitely say that I have been doing so much better at being present. Enjoying life. This goal is hard to track but as of a few weeks ago I know I have made progress.

Let loose more often: I struggled with this for quite a bit in the beginning of the year because I was always on edge. I think I grew up like that. I always worried and followed the rules so this goal was hard to reach. However I know I’ve progressed a lot especially in the last few weeks. I’ve been enjoying myself more when going out with friends and pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

Minimize debt: Wow… I felt like debt had a rope around my neck and was strangling me nonstop. I didn’t ever think it would be possible to get to the point where I am now. 6 months later and I’ve paid off 2 credit cards. Pretty soon it’ll be 3 and I cannot wait. I feel like I can have a breathe of fresh air. As Dave Ramsey one said, “If you keep doing the same things, you will keep getting the same results. You are where you are right now financially as a sum total of the decisions you’ve made to this point.”

Live simple: I didn’t even know that a minimalist lifestyle existed until sometime mid-march. In fact, I really didn’t know that you could create and live your own lifestyle. I only knew of the lifestyle I was raised in and the lifestyle society presented to me. Most times it consisted of items that lost its value faster than anything. It consisted of working in a high paying job so you can be happy and buy more things. I was pretty shocked to learn at the age of 23 that I don’t’ have to live a life my parents, family, or society wanted me to have. There was this lifestyle that didn’t place value on material items but relationships and experiences. I’m so glad I stumbled upon the minimalist lifestyle. I am still learning and trying to change my old habits but I have improved so much in living simple. I threw out so many useless and unnecessary items and learned to live with less.

Learn how to play the piano: I bought a piano sometime early in the year and actually learned two songs! The first one was Lauv “I like me better when I’m with you” and the second was Harry Potter’s theme song. 🙂 Sadly I stopped a few months afterwards when I was consumed by writing a poetry book (that I didn’t finish because of fear). I’ll have to relearn the songs. The next song I want to learn how to play is “Epilogue” from La La Land.

Move out: HA. HA. Not happening. Moving out would not be to my advantage right now. I would like to finish paying off my car (sometime next year) before I even think about moving. There are times when a sacrifice is necessary in order to achieve a goal and I am more than willing (but not really) to live at home for another year or two to pay off my credit cards and car. I’ll re-evaluate this goal at the end of the year to see if it still holds true.

Keep evolving: I’m not sure how to measure my steps in evolving but if I were to measure it by the amount of wisdom I’ve obtained and mental and emotional stability then I’d say I’ve evolved quite well. My mind is in such a better place than it was last year or even at the beginning of the year. I have grown wiser and stronger. My emotional stability has also increased by a whole lot. I am more content than I have ever been.

Enjoy your youth: At the beginning of the year I isolated myself and cooped myself up in my bedroom. I thought this would be the best way to follow through with my goals. It eventually got tiring, lonely, and was not effective. I wasn’t happy. Now, I think I’ve found the balance with my goals and living a happy life. I try to find ways to save money meanwhile spending time with friends and family. I also made a list of things I wanted to achieve this summer. P.S. I splurged and bought tickets to see James bay this October. I knew I would never buy it if I didn’t buy it at that moment and I am so happy I did. I deserve it.

My situation with finances is probably the hardest goal to reach but I understand that it will take some time, a few years to be exact. I used to, and still do sometimes, worry nonstop about my finances. Shortly after I realized that I was constantly stressed and not enjoying life because I wanted this aspect of my life to change so bad. I finally understood that this would take time and to just enjoy the ride. Nothing stays the same forever; this concept can be good or bad.

I have yet to start the podcast that I wanted to create at the beginning of the year. I find myself to push this off month after month. Every time I record something I end up deleting it. I hate the way I sound. I’m not sure why this is so hard to accomplish but I’ll have to think more about this.

Overall, I’m proud of myself. I am in a better place both mentally and emotionally. I’ve changed a lot of areas in my life. I didn’t realize how much I have changed and grown until I did this reflection. This makes me hopeful for the future. Let’s see where we will be at the end of the year.

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Just a dreamer trying to change her life within the next 3 years.

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