Journal 10: Spiral of Life

“Life is like a spiral. You continue to attract the same experiences until you learn and grow from them”.
~ Claire Michelle 

Week 10: July 2nd – July 8th

I didn’t do much last week. I didn’t have the energy, the motivation. I just needed a break. I needed to feel the wind rustling through my hair. I needed the air caressing my skin. The sun warming my body. I needed to be set free again. I needed to fly.

One of the very first person I encountered through social media while I was on my journey of self-discovery was Claire Michelle, also known as plantifulsoul. She was the one who raised my awareness of life. She was the propeller of my journey. The journey to question my life, my existence, my state of being. I recently watched a video of hers and she said something along the lines of “life is like a spiral, you continue to attract the same experiences until you learn and grow from them”. 

Re-read that line a few more times…

Do you ever make it out of a hurdle and then find yourself in a similar situation again? Almost like a relapse. A relapse of life. A relapse of experience. Well, a relapse is what it feels like to me. I have to admit… I’ve relapsed.

The last week felt hazy. I felt like I went through the minutes, hours, and days in a daze. Not really feeling anything. Keeping myself distant from my soul while my mind ran through a million daydreams and nightmares. I’ve been here before. I thought I had made it out and would not have to go through it again, yet here I am. Only thing different now compared to the time before is that I am aware. I am aware that I am here for a reason. There is something I have not come to terms with yet. Something I have not learned or something that needs to be learned again.

This spiral of life is draining. I feel like my emotions, mind, and soul are all over the place. Maybe that is why I am here now. Time to tackle this spiral of life again.

Weekly highlights:

  • I am currently in a spiral of life. I could deem this experience as a highlight or something to work on… but positivity is the key to get over these life hurdles so here it is. This spiral of life is here for a reason and I am determined to get through it. I am determined to make it out stronger and wiser than before.
  • After trying a lavender green tea matcha latte at a cafe I decided it would save me more money to buy the ingredients and make it at home. I bought a frothing maker for $40, matcha green tea powder for $23, and lavender syrup for $20 (who knew the ingredients would be so expensive on its own!). Though my first few home made lattes have not been that great I am determined to make it. Stay tuned for the perfect homemade lavender matcha green tea latte. 🙂
  • Spending time with family. We were able to get all but one family member for a family outing. We went bike riding. It felt great to laugh with my family. To forget about all our stresses for a few hours.

Things to work on:

  • Making successful habits. Again. I need to come up with a new routine that fits my needs and goals. I’ve been lacking on writing. I’ve been lacking the motivation and energy. I think I’ve outgrown my current routine.
  • Wanderlust. I have been yearning to escape. To run free. To fly. A trip away is much needed. I need to find the time and money to make an escape even if it is a mini escape.
  • Writing. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and I need to start writing more. I have all these thoughts, emotions, ideas that my mind keeps replaying. I want and need to start letting all these out. Maybe I can turn them into something.
  • Minimalism. I have been feeling out of it and maybe that is why my need to buy clothes has started again. I’ve been buying more clothes and I really don’t need them. I will be returning the items and trying to find alternative ways to sort through these feelings so I don’t feel the need to find temporary value in materialistic items.

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Just a dreamer trying to change her life within the next 3 years.

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