Journal 14: The Costs of Living Comfortably vs. Wildly


No amount of security is worth the suffering of a mediocre life chained to a routine that has killed your dreams.
– Maya Mendoza

Week 14: July 30 – August 5

It’s time for a change. It is time for me to stop waiting… To stop putting off decisions because of my uncertainty. It is time for me to take initiative; to start taking action. For far too long, I have been waiting to make the decision on my career. I have been researching numerous career routes, the pros and cons to each, waiting for the perfect time. I have been in this process for maybe half a year now. I am still in this process and now I’ve grown tired and restless. I cannot keep stalling.

It scares me to make this decision for many reasons. One being that I’ll make this decision and won’t be happy with it in the long run. I’ll end up regretting it. Two, this decision will lead me to failure. I’ll be losing my time and energy and have to start over. Three, this decision will lead me to live my ultimate dream. It won’t be easy but it’ll be worth it. It’ll be worth the risks and leaving a mediocre life.

So… which will it be? I weigh more through the pros and cons of each decision.

  • I’ll make this decision and won’t be happy with it in the long run. I’ll end up regretting it. 

As long as I go with my gut feeling, my intuition, I won’t regret it. I need to tune within myself and listen to what my heart and my soul is telling me.

  • This decision will lead me to failure. I’ll be losing my time and energy and have to start over.

I may be losing time and energy but at least I tried. Which would I regret more? Would I regret not trying 20 years from now? Or would I regret trying to live and not succeeding?

  • This decision will lead me to live my ultimate dream. It won’t be easy but it’ll be worth it. It’ll be worth the risks and leaving a mediocre life.

What greater success is there when you can take the chance of a lifetime to live your dream and end up succeeding? You end up living the life you want and that you made for yourself. Aren’t the risks worth it?

I will spend my vacation reflecting and tuning within myself for the answers. I will listen to what feels right to my soul. I will make a decision by August 19th.


Weekly highlights:

  • Staying Present: The last time I went on vacation, I enjoyed the first few days then started to worry and get anxious. I started to think about work and what I needed to do when I got back. I don’t want to do that this time around. I’ve been trying to enjoy the process of packing and preparing for the trip. I’ve been trying to stay mindful and present. I have been enjoying the now rather than hanging out in the past or the future too much. It’s working so far.

Things to work on:

  • Trusting the universe: My thoughts must reflect what I believe and vice versa. I need to believe what I think. I cannot project to the universe what I want out of my life if my mind and soul are in different planes.
  • Tuning into myself: I need to listen to my heart and soul more than ever. I need to listen, feel, and understand in order to move on from this plateau in my life.
  • Social Media: Cutting back social media feels great. I want to cut back even more. I’m thinking of having a time to check social media and then completely cut off. I don’t want to spend my time checking social media just because it’s what I am used too. I’m thinking maybe 10 minutes of social media in the morning (6:45am) and then half an hour (youtube, instagram, facebook) in the evening (5:30pm).


P.S.
Just listen. Listen to what your heart is telling you and what your soul is calling for. Ignore everything else for now.

This weeks theme song inspiration: Show Me Love by Hundred Waters (Skrillex Remix)


 

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Just a dreamer trying to change her life within the next 3 years.

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