and then i realized that to be more alive i had to be less afraid. so i did it. i lost my fear and gained my whole life.
Week 15: August 6 – August 19
I spent a week camping at Yellowstone with my family. I spent a week trying to live more mindfully, trying to stay more present, and enjoying the beautiful world. I stayed in a tent where the temperature at night would drop to the low 40’s and the day temperature would rise to the high 70’s, low 80’s. I took what the world gave to me and tried to make the most out of it without complaining.
I would wake up in the mornings and bundle up to stay warm while making a cup of coffee. I would hike down the trail to the lake to witness the beautiful sunrise. I would stay and feel the sun warm my skin and the temperature start to rise. I laughed with my sisters and enjoyed each one’s unique personality. I would take my time cooking food and enjoy the process of nurturing my body.
During that week, I noticed that I lived simply. It felt amazing to not have to worry about anything else. I took each task one by one. I took every good and bad situation and tried to make the most out of it. When I felt consumed by negativity I released it by surrounding myself with nature rather than holding onto it. I was present. I was living.
Now that I am back I realize that I need to make some changes. Though I tried to live simply beforehand, I would end up giving in sometimes to societal pressure. I caved in at times and bought things I didn’t need. I tried to live in the present more but found myself getting caught up in the past or thinking about the future. I never enjoyed what was given to me here and now. I was always on the go and thinking about what was next. I realized that I need to slow down. I need to appreciate where I am at.
- Staying present: I enjoyed the relationships I have. I enjoyed my time on earth. I enjoyed the food that I nurture my body with.
- Being with nature: I embraced all the good and the bad of nature. Like the butterflies that fly free but always end up circling me everywhere I went. I took it as a sign that maybe butterflies are my spirit guides. I lived simply alongside of nature. Not taking more than I needed. I was present. I was able to take all that was given to me and make the most out of it. Nature is so beautiful and serene. I crave for a more simple life.
Things to work on:
- Trusting myself: I forget that I only need my trust. I only need to believe in myself. I don’t need anyone else’s opinion or approval.
- Believing in my dreams: I have these big dreams that I don’t know how to obtain. Regardless, I need to believe that my dreams can be achieved. I need to believe. I need to start working towards them and stop putting them off. I can either work for someone else to help them achieve their dreams or I can work on achieving my own.
P.S. Let it go. Let go of the past, of all the expectations, of the doubt. Just be.
This weeks theme song inspiration: Fire (I wrote a song for you/ episode 6) by Olivia Ruby